Official "Stuff I heard on my scanner" thread

OpenRoad

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Video or audio optional. Must be interesting or funny. (Goes w/o saying, but there it is)

I'll start... I have a few recent ones.

Sandy Utah Police - Last week I heard troopers using the car-to-car looking for a "lockout kit" (asking if any units had one). Peaked my curiosity. I listened further and one cop had locked his keys in the car and was stuck. A bunch of them started ragging on the guy, but then backed off thinking "I could be next".

Utah Highway Patrol - I might post the video/audio on this one. This week a bunch of UHP troopers are learning how to ride a motorcycle. This one guy comes over the air last Friday and was scheduled to start on the bike course Monday. He was talking on the car-to-car channel with the instructor, and he was clearly nervous. He kept asking about when it was appropriate to "lay the bike down" in a crash. The instructor said "well, the point of the course is to avoid having to lay the bike down". You could tell from his choice of words the newbie was afraid - a bad combination for someone on an unforgiving bike.

California Highway Patrol - I posted this way back but good for here. The dispatcher called for a trooper to 'escort' someone off the freeway. A Japanese tourist had gotten on the freeway and was afraid, and pulled over. She couldn't handle the California freeways and wanted someone to escort her off. That was a new one on me.
 

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PointerCone

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Video or audio optional. Must be interesting or funny. (Goes w/o saying, but there it is)

I'll start... I have a few recent ones.

Sandy Utah Police - Last week I heard troopers using the car-to-car looking for a "lockout kit" (asking if any units had one). Peaked my curiosity. I listened further and one cop had locked his keys in the car and was stuck. A bunch of them started ragging on the guy, but then backed off thinking "I could be next".

Utah Highway Patrol - I might post the video/audio on this one. This week a bunch of UHP troopers are learning how to ride a motorcycle. This one guy comes over the air last Friday and was scheduled to start on the bike course Monday. He was talking on the car-to-car channel with the instructor, and he was clearly nervous. He kept asking about when it was appropriate to "lay the bike down" in a crash. The instructor said "well, the point of the course is to avoid having to lay the bike down". You could tell from his choice of words the newbie was afraid - a bad combination for someone on an unforgiving bike.

California Highway Patrol - I posted this way back but good for here. The dispatcher called for a trooper to 'escort' someone off the freeway. A Japanese tourist had gotten on the freeway and was afraid, and pulled over. She couldn't handle the California freeways and wanted someone to escort her off. That was a new one on me.
Sounds like Salty's fear when he drives!!!!
 

SpeedCounterMeasures

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Dispatcher: blah blah blah
OSP: Can you repeat that you got walked on by the KFC (Kentucky fried chicken) speaker

I have more but I just can't remember them, a dedicated thread for this is needed. :D
 

OpenRoad

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The car-to-car in Utah is the best.

Last week there was a report of a mother Goose and goslings walking on the freeway. The car-to-car lit up and someone said "Are you inviting me to dinner?". Took me a few seconds to click he was talking to the trooper who was going to the goose call and inferring the goose should be cooked.
 

speeddemon

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SSD Moto Cop: Uh dispatch could you send a car to the Corner of Beneva and Webber I left my Kband gun on the switch box
Dispatch: 10-4 (With laughter in the background)
 

TerragonSix

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I used to work for a fire department, heard some funny stories about comms.

There was a fire chief who was really strict in asking ladder trucks to describe fire calls. To the letter. Well, one time, I was working in the station, listening to comms, and I hear:

Dispatch, Ladder 4 is on scene. Single story wood construction house, fully involved, we'll be able to handle it.

-Typically, a fully involved 'inferno' house requires more than one truck.-

The chief was listening over the comms too.

"Dispatch, this is Chief ********, disregard last, pull 2nd Alarm. Ladder 4, can you give me more details?

"....Yes sir, it is a Doghouse."

<Obviously, 2nd alarm was cancelled, and Chief layed off the extremely picky description over the radio nonsense.> ;)
 

unmamfqlm

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A very sad/serious one: I heard "10-00" while listening to my scanner a couple weeks ago. I thought I had misheard what was going on, but sure enough, a local officer was ambushed and shot dead while clearing debris off of a parkway near me. There are absolutely no hints or leads whatsoever; although, the reward is over 100 thousand dollars now. Police, for whatever reason, seem to think that tree limbs were deliberately placed on the roadway for this specific officer to come clear off. If that's the case, it was apparently well thought out and planned by whoever it was.

I've never heard anything like that while listening to my scanner before; it was certainly a very shocking thing to be listening to as everything was going down.
 

OpenRoad

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Heard a CHP trooper come over the radio today, could hear his siren going. He told dispatch he was in pursuit of a motorcycle he clocked at 100 on lidar and he was failing to yield. The biker eluded him, so he gave up. Somewhere down the freeway a CHP motor cop was waiting for the guy, maybe 10 miles down the freeway and a few minutes later the moto cop was following, but quickly was on his ass, reporting license plate info. Bike impounded, he went to jail.

Rule #1, if you successfully elude cop #1, do not stay on the same freeway.
 
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OpenRoad

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A couple of hours ago in eastern Nevada I heard dispatch call a trooper that a woman was waiting at a gas station, that there was damage to her car when a cone hit it. I then said to my passenger "A cone hit her car, jumped right out in front of her?".

The trooper responded back to dispatch a few seconds later, "She hit the cone, or the cone hit her"? Both dispatcher and trooper started laughing. The person calling was clearly an idiot. We were 15 miles in front of the trooper (this is WAY out in the boonies) and thought it would be fun if we went to the gas station where the 'victim' was waiting and say something like "Did a cone jump out in front of you too?".
 

Higado de Acero

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On the Matrix, Morpheous told trinity the same thing. On a pursuit. Stay of the freeway!. If only the biker knew how to fly....

Heard a CHP trooper come over the radio today, could hear his siren going. He told dispatch he was in pursuit of a motorcycle he clocked at 100 on lidar and he was failing to yield. The biker eluded him, so he gave up. Somewhere down the freeway a CHP motor cop was waiting for the guy, maybe 10 miles down the freeway and a few minutes later the moto cop was following, but quickly was on his ass, reporting license plate info. Bike impounded, he went to jail.

Rule #1, if you successfully elude cop #1, do not stay on the same freeway.
 

unmamfqlm

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"Please respond to Ditto Lane; there is an intoxicated man operating a tractor."

I do live in Kentucky...
 

tsugsr

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I don't have a scanner but I've found an app that does a decent job scanning the several frequencies of my local agency. This was the other night but pretty funny, it was one officer responding to another who was on his way:

"He's pulled the race card so make sure you have your camera on when you get here"
 

OpenRoad

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Heard CHP dispatch calling about beach goers on the freeway who were "mooning" people from their car the other day.
 

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Lol wait for the intercourse calls and the Leo says I hope it's a male and female.....

Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
 

OpenRoad

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Borderline comical... well maybe.

Yesterday afternoon, the CHP and local fire get a call about a tow truck on fire on the freeway.
I then hear the trooper on scene, informing dispatch that the car being transported atop the flatbed tow truck is also engulfed.
Next, another trooper asks dispatch if he needs assistance.
Dispatch inquires to the trooper on scene, who replies "sorry, I am a bit busy, the tow truck is starting to roll backwards" (it was on a bit hill).
Second trooper responds "I'll take that as a yes".

Wish I could have got that scene on camera.
 

iflysmooth

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11:00 pm York reg. "I just had a red toyota blow by me w/ red & blue lights and sirens." "It's weird it looked liked a old beat up toyota" So I put the scanner on hold and wait, and wait.I figured he got someone.10 min later "He is a Balt. city det. on his way to a murder."

12:30pm York city PD out of breath "Suspect ran south down 4th st. behind the alley Freeze MF you move I'll blow you F en head off!"The guy was hiding behind a trash dumpster right behind him.
 

r0wla

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heard about 5 seconds of Bon Jovi on one of the NJ SP frequencies while heading across i78... the freq had been in use beforehand and no one said anything afterwards...hilarious
 

unmamfqlm

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"subject dancing on parkway, posing traffic hazard"
 

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