Sigh...wife is about to have an abortion 12 week pregnancy but Trisomy 13 positive detection

tempnexus

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I am honestly psychologically spent.
 

imaitguy

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Sorry to hear you both have to deal with such a diagnosis and decision. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.


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riseboi

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Oof. Definitely a tough time for your family with equally tough decisions to make. All the best.
 

Tallyho

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I'll pray for you both and your innocent child.
 

TheJM

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Wow. I am sorry to hear that.
 

sschwar2

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I’m really sorry to hear this. I was in your shoes a few year ago. Wishing you and your wife the best.
 

Run4donut

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I wish you and your wife the best through this tough time.
 

milkman

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I am so sorry to hear this. I will keep you in my prayers.
 

Solidjake

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So sorry to hear that... Wishing both of you the best
 

cbbr

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That's a tough one. We had misses while having kids. Wishing you and her the best.
 

tempnexus

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I’m really sorry to hear this. I was in your shoes a few year ago. Wishing you and your wife the best.
4 one now in a row. Well at least this one was furthest along. The other 3 could not progress beyond 7 weeks .
 

System

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In my opinion it's the best thing for the child. I hate the thought of abortion and disagree with people who do it because they "don't want it", but this is a situation I do agree with. Trisomy 13 is absolutely terrible and there are too many possibilities that follow it. I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better but if you need somebody to talk to my inbox is open. Stay strong man, you're gonna get through this. Wishing the best for you and your wife
 

xydrine

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4 one now in a row. Well at least this one was furthest along. The other 3 could not progress beyond 7 weeks .
Sorry to hear about all this. Decisions like this are really up to you and your wife and nobody else's opinion matters. I echo System's sentiments regarding tri 13 though, that would be something significantly different to consider when balancing the weight of a standard abortion.

Have you thought of adoption as an alternative? Of course everyone wants to be able to have a child that is part of them, but circumstances tend to open up opportunities in the most peculiar places... I may be able to answer some questions you may have about that, since I was adopted at birth, if you have any.
 

dchemist

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I'm so sorry to hear of this. I will definitely be saying a prayer for you and your wife.

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Eloi

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Nature has projects of its own ...better bend to its will than break.

Be like water....just be carefull with the nunchakus.

You have a team who supports You.

 

LeoGetz14

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Truly sorry to hear about your family's situation. Be strong and supportive of Mrs. Tempnexus in the coming weeks. She is going to need your understanding and sympathy more than ever. God bless you all and these misfortunes make us realize how insignificant other problems are.
All the best,
Leo
 

tempnexus

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Nature has projects of its own ...better bend to its will than break.

Be like water....just be carefull with the nunchakus.

You have a team who supports You.

I am just worried that maybe my past exposure to radiation and chemical agents (when I was a test officer/scientist) might have somehow just screwed my genetic material...sigh .

IVF with sperm wash and egg genetic testing prior to implantation is about $14k which stranegly is a lot cheaper than adoption.

--- DOUBLEPOST MERGED ---

Truly sorry to hear about your family's situation. Be strong and supportive of Mrs. Tempnexus in the coming weeks. She is going to need your understanding and sympathy more than ever. God bless you all and these misfortunes make us realize how insignificant other problems are.
All the best,
Leo
I know. I am....I am just devastated especially that we saw her moving in the ultra sound and wiggling the hands and feet so that is more devastating than in the past where it was only in a fetal embryo stage. However T13 is incompatible with life so eventually the baby would either self abort or be born and suffer the few days it's alive. It doesn't help that my wife works in the OB field and sees pregnant ladies on daily basis.

Also we will be just moving to a big house soon which we bought with a thought of having her....my wife was allready picking up nursery room colors etc.

On the positive note I am just glad that we live in a time where such early detection is possible since I don't think we would be mentally prepared to see the life being born and then suddenly extenguished. So there is that.
 
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Tripleturbo

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We are praying for you and your wife. You are doing the right thing

System. You are wise beyond your years my friend. I echo your advice


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PaulZy

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I applaud you for seeking insight into your dilemma here on this forum. I can empathize with the challenge you will face raising this child. As for the couples I personally know that have DS children, they would not change their decision for anything. The joy, innocence, and happiness that a DS person has brought into their life is immeasurable.

However, since I support that all human beings, regardless of size, level of development, environment, and degree of dependency, deserve a fundamental right to human life and fundamental human equality, I cannot in good conscience condone the intentional killing of any innocent human being from the moment of conception until natural death. To do so is discriminatory and deeply contrary to individual human dignity. We as parents and a society are not arbitrators of the quality and value of another's life, we are protectors and defenders. Before you choose this final solution, please view the above statement by a DS person.

And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her. Luke 1:38

May peace be with you, your wife, and your family.
 

xydrine

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which stranegly is a lot cheaper than adoption.
Yeah this is ridiculous - adoption shouldn't cost as much as it does, and it's been that way for decades.

However, since I support that all human beings, regardless of size, level of development, environment, and degree of dependency, deserve a fundamental right to human life and fundamental human equality, I cannot in good conscience condone the intentional killing of any innocent human being from the moment of conception until natural death. To do so is discriminatory and deeply contrary to individual human dignity. We as parents and a society are not arbitrators of the quality and value of another's life, we are protectors and defenders. Before you choose this final solution, please view the above statement by a DS person.

And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her. Luke 1:38

May peace be with you, your wife, and your family.
I'm not sure what kind of response you'll get to this, but if I may make a recommendation - join the Christian Core social group here on this forum. Lots of relate-able content there.