I was being a bum just sitting around the house today. My lovely wife was out running errands for us and her 84 year old mother. While I'm on the computer setting up myself to win Publishers Clearing House, my wife calls. This is how the conversation went: Her: Are you dressed? Me: Yes Her: I just got hit in the front and the rear! (Her speech was loud and fast). You need to take me to my mom's to take her stuff to her. Me: You got hit in the front AND rear? Where are you? Her: I'm in the neighborhood. Me trying to process how you get into a 3 car accident in a 25 mph neighborhood. Me: I'll be there in a minute! (Notice I didn't ask which street she's on). I must admit, after saying a quick prayer that no one is hurt, I thought, "Awww man! I just had my ALPs tested by @Andrew21 and @PY004 a few months ago! No way I can buy another set at this time." I grab my wallet and keys to go be her knight in shining armor, riding in a white truck. I run out the front door to see her and her SUV in the driveway. She seemed fine, so I start looking at both ends of her ride and didn't see any damage. Then, "why are you here? Please tell me you didn't leave the site of an accident." Me: Are you ok? Her: Yes. Hurry and get in! We have to hurry. He's right up on the highway. Me: Who's on the highway? Her: The cop! He hit me in the front then the rear. It said "Stalker something" At this point, I'm drained, confused...and a little frustrated. But, to my wife's credit, she got hit with laser yesterday, for the third time. She knows I haven't been hit yet and wanted me to experience it. Sure enough, we drove up there and he hit me. JTK was easy because I was expecting it. 1.5 seconds at the most. I was so excited, I went back and let him hit me 2 more times, (going and coming). It was a 3 man team working the traffic. I think I'm gonna take some of my daughter's Xanex pills. I'm too old for this type of scenario. I'm a heart patient for goodness sake! Funny note: My wife was talking to her mother through the car system. The ALP did the alarm and announced, "Stalker!" Her mother got scared for her daughter thinking someone was stalking her. Ahhhh the mind of an 84 year old.