The Beltronics STI Magnum according to Shempth

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by sdrawkcab, Oct 10, 2018.

  1. sdrawkcab

    sdrawkcab sdrawkcaB|Backwards Advanced User Premium Member

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    Alright guys, time to play some back-of-the cereal box games. Can you spot all the things wrong with this listing description? Hint. Answers are on the bottom of the cereal box. Heh. Just kidding. But seriously, this is entertaining. The below text is copied word for word "as-is", including the terrible all caps.

    Citation: BELTRONICS STI MAGNUM RADAR DETECTOR-MAGNESIUM CONSTRUCTION | eBay

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    THIS LISTING IS FOR A BELTRONICS STI MAGNUM RADAR AND LASER DETECTOR IN LIKE NEW CONDITION. I PURCHASED THIS UNIT BRAND NEW FROM BELTRONICS ORIGINALLY. IN 2107 I SENT THE UNIT TO THE BELTRONICS SERVICE CENTER TO HAVE THE LASTEST SOFTWARE UPDATE. THEY ALSO WENT THROUGH THE UNIT AND REPLACED PARTS AND FULLY TESTED THE UNIT COMPLETELY AND WHEN I GOT I BACK FROM THE SERVICE DEPT. IT WAS IN LIKE NEW CONDITION. THE UNIT'S CASE IS MAGNESIUM CONTRUCTION (ALL METAL CASE). THE CASE BEING MAGNESIUM MAKES THE UNIT PICK UP VERY FEW CAR COLLISION SYSTEMS AND IF OPTION CORRECTLY HARDLY NONE.

    BELTRONICS OF CANADA WAS THE PREMIER OF MAKING THE BEST RADAR DETECTORS ON THE MARKET FOR MANY YEARS. THE PATENTED TECHNOLOGY BOTH US AND CANADIAN ARE BUILT INTO THIS UNIT. BELTRONICS MADE THE FASTEST DIGITAL PROCCESOR IN THE INDUSTRY, LIGHTNING FAST!

    BELTRONIC WAS MERGED INTO THE ESCORT COMPANY AND THEN BOUGHT OUT BY THE COBRA COMPANY. BELTRONICS OF CANADA'S FACTORY WAS CLOSED AND THE BELTRONIC PATENTS STILL REMAIN WITH CANADA. THERE ARE NO MORE BELTRONIC PRODUCTS BEING MADE. ESCORT OWNED BY COBRA HAS ITS PRODUCTS MADE OVERSEAS. AND THE QUALITY HAS GONE DOWN HILL, AND THAT IS THE FACT.

    BELTRONICS MADE THE MAGNUM STI THE TOP OF THE LINE. THIS UNIT WAS MADE IN CANADA AND NOT OVERSEAS. THIS UNIT HAS ESCORTS REDLINE THAT IS MADE OVERSEAS OUTDONE BY IN EVERY FACET. GO ON LINE AND READ THE REVIEWS AND JUDGE FOR YOUR SELF.

    THIS IS A BUNDLE DEAL WITH ALOT OF EXTRAS! A LOT OF BANG FOR YOUR BUCK.

    THERE IS NO RESERVE ON THIS LISTING.

    IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME!

    THANK YOU FOR LOOKING AND GOOD LUCK BIDDING!

    PLEASE NOTE: ONLY SOLD TO BUYER IN THE UNITED STATES! NO FOREIGN SALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
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  2. Run4donut

    Run4donut Fastest trigger in the west Advanced User

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    That ad gives you cancer.
     
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  3. Tallyho

    Tallyho Premium Member Advanced User Premium Member

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    I'm going to have Shempth write all my descriptions. That's some dazzling bullsh** , generously mixed with grammatically awkward use of the English language, punctuated with unearned confidence.

    Perfect for the eBay buyer.
     
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  4. infiniti

    infiniti Premium Member Advanced User Premium Member

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    Only if you live in California
     
  5. smokinu454

    smokinu454 county road cruisin Advanced User

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    I had a headache after reading that.....
     
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  6. OBeerWANKenobi

    OBeerWANKenobi This is not the car you're looking for..... Advanced User

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    @benzr this guy is using your writing class for nefarious purposes!
    :laugh:

    ;)
     
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  7. sdrawkcab

    sdrawkcab sdrawkcaB|Backwards Advanced User Premium Member

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    This may the only radar detector that has traveled back through time, from 2107!

    doge_beltronics_magnum.png